Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Hippo gnu deer
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Randomize