i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
