did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
