piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
