We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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