your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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