When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
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