She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
