There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
