So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Randomize
