bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
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