Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
