i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
