Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
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