He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
