I don't think brook has ever known best
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
