i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize
