so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
