Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
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