You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
