Duck Duck Cougar?
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
