Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
