...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
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