i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
