She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
