spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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