i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Randomize
