i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
