I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Randomize
