rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
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