Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Someone shattered a urinal.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
