My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
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