but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize