i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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