I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
