THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
