so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
We need a shit load of segways right now
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Randomize
