just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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