i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
