idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
there is puke in my bra ... again
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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