I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
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