But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
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