So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize