he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
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