He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
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