I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
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