my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
