are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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