He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
