So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
