I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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