So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
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