when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
