When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
