This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Semen is not good for contacts.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
But theres a keg here and me gusta
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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