She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
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