Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize