The maid of honor just puked.
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
